The Mind Calculates, The Body Remembers
Recently, I wrote about how the body remembers experiences long before the mind fully understands them.
Today felt like a living example of that.
It was the first week back after the summer break. There were school runs, food shopping, birthday preparations, messages to respond to, and the many small responsibilities that accompany everyday family life.
On the surface, nothing particularly significant happened.
Yet by evening, everyone seemed a little more tired and irritable than usual.
Looking back, I think we were all carrying more fatigue than we realised.
At one point, a small domestic accident triggered a surprisingly strong reaction in me.
It wasn't a major problem.
Yet I immediately felt something shift inside.
A familiar feeling surfaced.
Scarcity.
The reaction seemed larger than the situation itself.
The event wasn't really the issue.
It had simply touched something much older.
The Body Remembers
As I reflected later, I realised how deeply rooted some patterns can be.
My early life included experiences of uncertainty, upheaval, loss, and significant transitions. Looking back, I can see how those experiences shaped the way my nervous system learned to respond to the world.
When uncertainty is woven through our early experiences, the body learns to stay alert.
It learns to anticipate.
It learns to prepare.
It learns to scan for what might be lost.
It learns to make sure there will be enough.
Years later, those patterns can still appear long after the original circumstances have changed.
Not because something is wrong with us.
Not because we have failed to heal.
But because the nervous system remembers what it once needed in order to survive.
The Mind Calculates
Later, when the house became quiet, I noticed another familiar pattern emerging.
My mind began planning.
Preparing.
Looking ahead.
Thinking through possibilities.
Trying to create safety through thought.
I have noticed this tendency many times before.
For years, I assumed this was simply how my mind worked.
More recently, I have begun to understand something different.
The calculations are not really about numbers.
They are about safety.
The mind is attempting to solve a problem that the nervous system learned many years ago.
If I prepare enough.
If I think ahead.
If I stay one step in front of uncertainty.
Perhaps everything will be alright.
Perhaps everyone will be safe.
Perhaps there will always be enough.
The more I reflected, the more I realised that the calculations themselves are not the problem.
They are simply the expression of an old survival strategy.
Healing Is Not Forgetting
One of the most important lessons I have learned is that healing does not necessarily mean old patterns disappear.
Sometimes we imagine healing as reaching a point where we no longer react.
No longer worry.
No longer feel triggered.
No longer experience fear or uncertainty.
My experience has been different.
More often, healing looks like recognition.
Today, I noticed the scarcity.
I noticed the calculations.
I noticed the irritation.
I noticed the tiredness.
And because I noticed them, I didn't become them.
There was enough awareness to recognise what was unfolding.
Not judgement.
Not criticism.
Simply awareness.
Perhaps this is part of what healing offers.
Not the absence of old patterns.
But a different relationship with them.
The Present Is Not The Past
The circumstances of my life today are not the same as those that shaped me years ago.
Yet the nervous system learns slowly.
It continues to protect us using strategies that were once necessary.
The challenge is not to eliminate those strategies.
The challenge is to gently help the body recognise that the present is not the past.
To remind ourselves:
Things are different now.
The threat has passed.
The circumstances have changed.
We do not need to respond to every small loss as though it confirms a larger fear.
We Are Safer Now
As I reflected on the day, I found myself feeling grateful towards those old survival strategies.
They developed for a reason.
They helped me adapt.
They helped me endure.
They helped me keep moving forward.
But perhaps they no longer need to work quite so hard.
Perhaps this is the ongoing work of healing.
Helping the nervous system discover that survival is no longer its only task.
That there is also room for rest.
Room for joy.
Room for connection.
Room for creativity.
Room for trust.
The calculating mind still visits from time to time.
The scarcity still occasionally whispers its concerns.
But increasingly, I can recognise them for what they are.
Old strategies trying to keep me safe.
And perhaps the most compassionate response is not to fight them, but simply to acknowledge them and gently say:
Thank you.
We are safer now.
🌿
Dr Maliheh Taheri
M.A.L.I. Neuro-Somatic Practice
